There are so many things I didn’t think twice about before becoming a parent…
and now?
Now they hit a nerve I didn’t even know existed.
Unsolicited advice.
From friends, family, or random strangers in the grocery store.
If I didn’t ask for it… I don’t want it.
It’s not even always what’s being said—
it’s the assumption that I need to be told.
Like I’m not already thinking through every little decision.
Like I’m not already doing my best.
“Just bring your kid.”
Especially from people who don’t have kids.
And what’s crazy is… I used to be that person.
Before I had my daughter, I’d say it like it was no big deal.
Now I know better.
Because it’s never just bringing your kid.
It’s snacks, drinks, backup snacks, extra clothes, diapers, wipes, toys….
and mentally preparing for the fact that your entire outing could fall apart in 15 minutes.
And most of the time?
You’re not even enjoying yourself the way everyone else is.
You’re watching.
Helping.
Redirecting.
Making sure they’re okay the entire time.
People will say, “I’ll help.”
And they sometimes mean it.
But most of the time, they don’t help in the way you actually need.
Not because they don’t care—
but because they don’t understand what that really looks like.
Dating as a mom.
When a guy says, “Just bring your kid.” on the first date.
I know it’s meant to be nice.
But… come on.
I’m trying to get to know you.
Not juggle mom mode and conversation with a stranger at the same time.
That’s not a date.
When someone calls my child “spoiled.”
This one doesn’t just annoy me… it makes me feel attacked.
Because what you’re really doing—whether you mean to or not—
is questioning how I’m raising her.
I let my child eat when she’s hungry.
I let her drink when she’s thirsty.
That doesn’t mean there aren’t boundaries.
I’m still paying attention to what she’s eating.
If she hasn’t had her main meal yet, she waits.
If she’s had enough, she’s done.
There’s structure. There’s balance.
But I’m not going to ignore her needs
just to make it look like I’m being “strict enough” for someone else.
So when someone throws around the word “spoiled”…
it doesn’t feel casual.
It feels like judgment.
And I won’t apologize for that.
She’s not spoiled. She’s cared for.
Comments about my parenting.
I’m doing this on my own.
Day in, day out.
Decisions, discipline, comfort, structure—
all of it falls on me.
Unless you’re stepping in
and helping raise her like another parent…
Respectfully…
shut up.
Comments about her body.
Anything said in a way that makes it seem like she’s “too big” for her age.
No.
We’re not doing that.
She’s growing.
She’s healthy.
She’s exactly who she’s supposed to be.
And I won’t have her growing up hearing things
that make her question that.
When people comment on her father and our co-parenting.
Just because we’re not together
doesn’t mean you get a say in how we do things.
People love to comment on how often he has her,
what weekends look like,
what they think it should be.
Like our parenting schedule was built for them.
It wasn’t.
It was built for her.
You don’t see the full picture.
You don’t see the conversations or the effort behind it.
So the opinions?
They’re not needed.
Being told I “need to take him to court.”
Like there’s some kind of checklist to co-parenting.
“Oh, you don’t have a court order? You need to do that.”
Need to?
Not every co-parenting situation has to go through the court system.
If two people can figure things out without it—
that’s not something to fix.
That’s something to appreciate.
A lot of people don’t understand that involving the court
can make things more complicated than they already are.
So no… it’s not something I “need” to do.
We’re handling it.
When it feels like all the responsibility falls on the mom.
Sick kid?
Mom stays home.
Daycare closed?
Mom figures it out.
Finding sitters, managing schedules—
it all seems to fall on the mom.
And yes, I have my daughter full-time.
But if I’m being honest…
this is something I didn’t expect.
I thought it would be more balanced.
I thought her dad would take on more than he does.
And that’s not me tearing him down—
that’s just my reality.
Just because I handle it doesn’t mean it was ever meant to be this one-sided.
When people say “at least you only have one.”
Like your feelings aren’t valid
just because you only have one child.
That can really hit a nerve for me sometimes.
Because I didn’t expect my life to look like this.
My child’s father and I broke up,
and I became a single mother.
I thought I would have more than one child—
and now… it feels like maybe that was taken from me.
I only have my one child—
who I am extremely grateful for
and love more than anything.
But that doesn’t make it easy.
One child doesn’t mean one ounce of responsibility.
Some of these might sound small.
They’re not.
Not when you’re the one living it every single day.
Raw Mothering 
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